If You’re Craving Chocolate Muffins After The Olympic Muffin Man Videos, Jordan The Stallion On Tiktok

Head Cannon

Bruce never actually learned how to act rich till he was already in his early 30's due to traveling for training and still forgets most of the stuff he learned because he so used to just focusing on his family and being Batman. The perks to being rich? Your rich! There are no other perks!

Dick was raised in a circus, and despite joining Bruce and the world of rich at a young age, Bruce still doesn't teach him anything about being rich other than how to act nicely and how to hide from paparazzi,

Jason is notoriously from Crime Ally, he knows less about being rich and how to use the power of being rich, he will learn the proper way to act like he has money, just to do the exact opposite because F the rich. And Steph has the EXACT same mindset

You would think Damian knows how to act rich and all the perks to being rich because he's the famous Al Ghul the demon head's grandson right? Nope, he trained how to kill people and how to lie, not how to flaunt money

Tim drake is the only Wayne that is raised on what it's like to be rich and rich perks and sucky parts. You want to get into that one really exclusive club on 14th Street? The one with the 4 month long waiting list? Tim could bring you and 10 other people and still get in without a reservation. Tim can tell you how to properly mix 40 different types of alcoholic drinks because rich people are obsessed with alcohol . Hell you want a free drink just join Tim at a bar near the diamond district because people who are famous get 2 bottles of whiskey free of charge.

From facebook; mic drop.

i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

So listen i have this book coming out in uhhh 10 days and I am Worried about it, because it is a Comedy, and comedy is really hard to market (why????? it's funny pirates, what's not to like??) even when it is, yanno, normal mainstream comedy.

It is even worse when it is Unhinged Comedy That's Mostly Going To Be Funny To People On Tumblr. (For example, the main character being a supreme gremlin made of 90% memes by weight (examples: carries around a bag that is never called anything but his "little rucksack"; has a near-verbatim "stick me legy out real far" moment; talks about his metaphorical "orphan gruel bowl" which is a direct reference to that one Oliver Twist gif) because those are funny to me personally.) Unhinged Tumblr Comedy is difficult because tumblr is not a platform where it is easy to market things to people, because we are generally violently anti-capitalist and LOATHE advertisements and reflexively resist being marketed to for most anything. I LOVE that about this website. Except for right now, because I have bills to pay and a cat to feed. So look, fellow tumblr gremlins, I am just trying to say that if your personal brand of comedy is laughing at the kind of jokes that could only be produced on this hell website, and:

you like pirates

you're queer and want to read more books by queer authors

you want your fictional queer characters to be a hell of a lot more Messy and Unhinged than they often are depicted as being

you're interested in seeing a love triangle (M/M/NB) that resolves into polyamory

you want books where the hottest character gets to makes Passionate Speeches about rebelling against oppressive institutional regimes like governments and organized religions

you believe that capitalism is the most oppressive institutional regime of them all

you think it's fun when two characters have been in a 15-year-long relationship where the vibes have been "We're Newly Divorced" nearly since day one

you believe that All Cops Are Bastards and want to know what to do when you get pulled over by the boat cops

you think the Great British Bake-Off would be improved with weaponry, ritualized bribery/coercion of judges, and elaborate shit-talk

then this book might be for you. Beneath the wall-to-wall hijinks, it is political and it is righteously angry and it is the funniest thing I have ever written (which is saying something, because I have written some funny shit). It's called RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND. Here's a picture of it.

If all that sounds cool, you can read a review of it here and the first chapter of it here to see if it as funny as I am claiming it is, and then if you think that it is, you can preorder it here. It comes out on June 11! Ten days from now!

Thank you for letting me market to you for a minute. Signal boosting would be very much appreciated.

i love you air dried hair i love you no makeup i love you comfortable clothes made out of soft fabrics i love you short nails

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

Uh so I made a character bingo if anyone wants to try it (:

i learned of “Box beds” – cabinets with beds in them and, sometimes, lockable doors – were used for privacy and safety in parts of rural medieval Europe before individual bedrooms were common. They became fashionable even in homes with bedrooms and remained in use in Scotland into the 1900s (x)