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Recipe - Blog Posts
Flat Iron Steak with Mushroom Sauce - Steaks Your family and friends will love this recipe for tender slices of flat iron steak served with a creamy wine and mushroom sauce. It would be wonderful served over roasted potatoes or a rice pilaf.
Zucchini Lasagna With Beef and Sausage - Main Dishes A lasagna made with layers of zucchini instead of noodles, a rich tomato meat sauce, and two Italian cheeses tastes like the lasagna you love.
Custard Buttercream - Frostings and Icings A very rich and delectable buttercream icing, custard buttercream German buttercream is perfect for frosting cakes or 24 cupcakes.
Soups, Stews and Chili - Wisconsin Native's Beer Cheese Soup The Midwest is proud of its creamy, flavorful, and spicy beer cheese soup made with beer, sharp Cheddar, milk, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce.
Too Cool For School Pumpkin Spice Cake - Desserts Before the canned pumpkin and additional spices are added, a box of yellow cake mix becomes a delicious and simple pumpkin cake with buttery pecan topping.
Breakfast and Brunch - Breakfast Burrito - New Mexico Green Chile Breakfast Burritos A filling recipe for the popular green chiles from Hatch, New Mexico, which are used in every restaurant, taco stand, and gas station in Santa Fe.
DJ's Outdoor Pork Loin with Veggies - Meat and Poultry White potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, onions, and apples are all cooked in a cast iron skillet outside on a grill with the pork loin. The flavor is citrusy!
Day Before Mashed Potatoes You can prepare your mashed potatoes in advance thanks to this recipe, which aids in planning!
Honey-Glazed Baked Salmon - Salmon This honey-glazed salmon - baked with Asian flavors like ginger, garlic, soy sauce, and green onions - is sweet and savory at once.
Bread - Fruit Bread - Cherry Spice Loaf With almond extract, dates, cherries, and raisins as its main ingredients, this quick bread is sweet and fruity.
German Chocolate Cake - Cakes Use this simple recipe to create a delicious German chocolate cake. The frosting made of coconut and pecans is heavenly delicious.
Stuffed Chicken Breasts with Artichoke Hearts, Feta Cheese, Capers, and Black Olives Baked feta cheese-stuffed boneless chicken breasts that have been marinated in Italian dressing for the night. When you want something special, it's a nice option to prepare ahead.
Sher-a-Punjab Onion Chutney - Side Dish
Sweet Potato Pie II - Desserts - Sweet Potato Pie
but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:
start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)
measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.
remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.
become consumed with despair.
decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.
remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit.
once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.
now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably.
take a minute to dwell upon your failings.
grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.
pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up.
melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.
put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.
remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)
CONSUME THE RICE.
realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen.
put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.
for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.
The literal cheat cookie
i should make a low-effort cookbook
like you get those ‘i hate to cook! 101: easy meals for the kitchen novice!’ and it still wants you to make a three-cheese spinach casserole
mine would be like
did you know you can put chocolate chips on a spoonful of peanut butter and obtain the perfect snack
did you know if you crack some eggs into your pasta sauce and stir there’s more protein in it so you can go longer without having to make another goddamn meal
did you know you can mix a cup of cooked rice to any condensed soup instead of water and now you have dinner and breakfast
also put cheese on it
put cheese on fucking everything
and finally here’s a list of things you can microwave in a short enough time that you won’t walk out of the kitchen, go back to bed, fall asleep for four hours, and totally forget you attempted a lunch
YO BITCHEZ, LOVE DUNKAROOS?
WANT TO MAKE A MASS QUANTITY OF IT AND SAVE MONEY AT THE SAME TIME??
WELL HERE YOU FUCKING GO:
1 box funfetti cake mix (DO NOT add the ingredients that you usually would to actually make the cake - you need just the mix) 2 cups plain yogurt ½ container of cool whip. Serve with animal crackers or graham crackers.
SIGNAL BOOST THIS. HELP ME FEED MY PEOPLE.
Coming from a state champion baker:
If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t.
Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof.
This concludes me attempting to be helpful.
I was at our local bakery recently and came across a loaf of bread quaintly branded as a “Peasant Loaf”. It was selling for over $6—the irony of this was not lost on me.
In retaliation I have decided to post what I actually think of as a peasant loaf, but with the luxury of finely ground modern flour which is less likely to break your teeth because actual peasant loaf bread is like chewing rocks unless you’re soaking it in soup or stew.
This is a very simple loaf, it requires no special tools and is a fairly forgiving dough for beginners to work with. Also it has the added bonus of looking like an expensive artisan loaf, but costs literal pennies to make once you invest in the basic ingredients.
So what do you need?
Ingredients:
Plain flour (or wholewheat if you prefer)
One sachet of active dry yeast.
Salt.
Water.
Tools:
Bowl
Mug
Prep and bake time total: 2 hours 45 minutes.
Yep, that’s it. You’ll notice that there’s no quantities listed up there, and that’s because you’ll be using the mug to measure everything. This helps to make sure your quantities are consistent, and means that so long as you have a mug and your ingredients, you can make bread. Heck you don’t even need a bowl, it just makes clean up easier.
Again I had Elusive Tumblr Dad help me take the photos so be warned this is going to be fairly image heavy under the cut :D
Step One: Gather your stuff.
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