Ikemen Vampire - Blog Posts

Old art from a few months ago 🤯

I say unto thee, lay thine eyes upon the field in which my fucks are grown, and behold that it is barren.

-Shakespeare

.

URGENT

Please keep reading this, and if you can, please share this and anything related to this topic, we NEED visibility.

Nicolas Maduro fraudulently won yesterday’s presidential elections, I repeat, NICOLAS MADURO and his allies have committed fraud against VENEZUELA.

EDMUNDO GONZÁLEZ URRUTIA WON THE 2024 VENEZUELA PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS BY MORE THAT 70% OF THE VOTES, AND ALSO WON IN EVERY VOTING CENTER IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY. BUT THE DICTATORSHIP OF NICOLAS MADURO REFUSES TO BE TRANSPARENT AND STOLE THE ELECTIONS.

There’s just been a day since this was announced and there’s already tons of harmed and killed citizens, OUR PEOPLE IS GETTING KILLED FOR SPEAKING UP, AND THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT.

This is a dictatorship, one that has took the life’s of millions of Venezuelans in the past 25 years.

WE ARE SCARED, i am scared, I want to get out of my house and protest for a better future, for the freedom of my people and for peace to finally win in Venezuela, but I’m scared of getting killed for fighting for my rights. Venezuela right now is dangerous, even staying in your own house is dangerous.

I’m deeply proud of all of those who are on the streets right now, thank you so much for being so brave, and for fighting for this country.

We want to finally have a break, we’ve been suffering for way too long because of this government, this is nothing like what the foreigners think is going on, this is not about the the lack of food, this about that WAY more that half of the country can’t even afford to buy decent groceries with their monthly income (the minimum wage is 3.5$ PER MONTH, and whatever you hear out there where they say that is 800bs is a LIE)

This is not about the inflation, this is about that we have to use a foreign currency, because ours is WORTHLESS.

We are not the country with the biggest oil reserves on the world, the gas on the gas stations in Venezuela is from IRAN, our oil reserves are being STOLEN by the government.

Just by natural resources, we are supposed to be one the countries with the best economies in the world, but we have one of the WORST, because the government and those who are connected to them STEAL EVERYTHING.

We don’t wanna live this way anymore, I don’t wanna say goodbye to another family member, I don’t wanna say goodbye to another of my friends, I want them to stay, to come back, I want to celebrate Christmas with a table full of my loved ones, I want them to be part of my life, I want to be able to go out with my friends in car where there’s no empty spaces, I want to be free.

Please, to whoever is reading this, wherever your Venezuelan or not, please share this and everything related to what’s going on right now, we want this to have visibility, for the whole world to know what’s going on.

Here’s so important information that might help you to understand things a bit better.

And if you wanna know what’s going on the streets and the ATROCITIES this government is doing to Venezuelans, you can check this Twitter/X account. https://x.com/uhn_plus?s=21&t=811ZdyqLhYbY4z4zGa7Qlw

BBC News

Venezuela crisis in brief - BBC News

Millions of Venezuelans have left their home country amid a continuing political and economic crisis.

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

ikeseries vice or virtue mc pfps and edits bc they’re pretty ✨✨

(if you want something like this done with a suitor, feel free to let me know!)

with text

without text

a like or reblog is appreciated if you use or save!

LOOK AT THEM 🩵💙💜🧡

hc that comte keeps a portrait of sebas long after he’s gone

Let's be friends <3

Just started playing Ikemen Vampire again. And I need some friends, for the gold cause ya gurl is broke :(

My friend code:

P9E2RH9R5

Hi, I am Katerina

Please add me in IkeVamp

P8LNQ8EM6

things MC has said at some point (pt.2)

"the fact that you died a virgin is really not that big of a surprise" (to Isaac)

"modern society is still horny for Sherlock, how do you feel about that?" (to Arthur)

"you're adorable, but you got mommy issues written on your forehead and I'm not sure I wanna get involved in that" (to Charles)

"you trigger my 'slap a bitch' mode every time you walk in the room" (to Mozart)

"you're kinda like Brad Pitt. everyone thinks you're hot and it makes you boring" (to Leonardo)

"you give wayyy too many murder ideas in your plays to be acting like this" (to Shakespeare)

"Comte, you should know how terrible your taste in men is" (to Comte)

If IKEVAMP was more historically accurate, Vincent would have his mental health issues,one ear , and he wouldn’t be a cinnamon roll but instead most likely a yandere but even more so than shakespeare ( he allegedly gave his ear to a prostitute as a token of affection and it would have been interesting if he out yandered the yandere, A.K.A. Shakespeare)

( honestly though this was probably my first impression of Vincent van Gogh in Ikemen Vampire, I actually thought he would have been the yandere and was annoyed that the missing ear was never brought up. I just wanted to get that off my chest)

( I still love Vincent though)

Complete this Sentence

“If IKEVAMP was more historically accurate, we could have______”

Why wont my 2d husband just stop playing so hard to get, come to life and fucking kabedon me already jeez

😆😆😆honestly these options were way too good I had a hard time picking one 😆😆😆

.... that’s doesn’t seem right

There fixed it

(You were thinking it I was thinking we were ALL thinking

What I think the Ikevamp mansion boys would do for MC’s birthday:

Comte would take MC out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—only the best restaurants and cafes in Paris—sprinkled between shopping for clothes, furniture, and trinkets for MC’s room. Really any excuse to spend the wealth he’s accumulated over the many many centuries for one of his top three favorite residents.

Leonardo would sketch MC with all the other residents gathered in the dining room, having a wonderful time at her celebratory dinner—eating, drinking, laughing—causing Theo to go off on one of his begging sprees for Leo to get back into painting.

Theo would purchase a painting that reminds him of MC. He would also consider buying a very large painting of a dog and leaving it in front of her room just for the joke.

Vincent, catching MC taking a nap in the garden, would paint an ethereal portrait of her laying among the flowers.

Arthur would a write a collection of short stories featuring a smart heroine, remarkably familiar to the mansion’s own favorite caretaker, who outwits Holmes on every case. He’d also slip in a coupon he made on a scrap of paper that’d say: “One free night with a sexy mystery writer.”

Dazai would write poetry and recite it to MC while on an outing to their favorite spot—the collection of hydrangeas—and some home-cooked Japanese food made by Sebastian. He’d even narrate some folktales as if she was one of the children in the park.

Mozart would compose a piece and then transcribe a whole other copy of sheet music for MC when she inevitably asks for it as a prized possession from a very special occasion.

After a late-night conversation one time about traditional Japanese attire, Jean would think to craft some type of kanzashi to the best of his limited knowledge while at work in town.

Isaac would design a watch for MC so she’ll have one token from both the past and the future; it’s adorned with mini constellation patterns they talked about that very first time they stargazed together.

With perhaps the most knowledge of cooking out of all the vampires in the mansion, Napoleon would bake macarons at Jean’s suggestion.

Sebastian would force MC to take the week leading up to her birthday off so that he can get ready to plan and prepare her birthday dinner while the other residents can present their gifts. He’d make sure to cook all of her favorite meals that entire week.

When They Are Self Aware [IkeVamp Edition]

(After reading many tumblr posts about sagau and sahsrau, I pondered...)

Warnings: Long, somewhat ooc (some of these are based of my own impression towards them after looking through posts related to them), 4th-wall destroyed, grammars

What happens when the suitors of Ikemen Vampire become self aware that they are game characters?

That question can lead to two possible answers: it's either chaos or wonder.

For now, it's wonder.

Think about it. They are characters based off of existing historical figures from different eras, right? Obviously, this kind of "technology" will baffle them slightly. Because this kind of thing wasn't even really a thing in their prime. The Protagonist serves as your eyes to see everyone. The residents also take notice of this. You can't really share your message across through MC's mouth. But your words did come across through the wind.

Jean may be wary about this, pondering "is this some sort of witchcraft? Or have God decided to come and punish me by filling my mind with madness and uncertainty?". Because, there's someone out there?? Outside this world observing him?? Some being he didn't know?? And they care for him too (judging from how he sometimes heard your quiet sobbing and desperate pleas, telling him to be aware that despite everything, there are people who care for him) ???? But why? He wondered, why? He don't know who or what is this being that is watching him. Certainly, it wasn't God.

But soon, everyone followed. Jean is no longer the only one who become aware of the presence of this being. One by one, the residents of the mansion followed suit.

×××

Sometimes, whenever Vincent paint sunflowers, everything feels much brighter. He felt some sort of giddiness whenever he draw beautiful scenes. He felt like someone is watching him painting. But this feeling... it didn't frighten him. Rather, he was content. It almost felt like he's a child drawing something while a relative or a parent watching with fond eyes. Sometimes, he swore he heard "I wonder what kind of painting he's making" or "I'm sure his painting is beautiful like the real deal. Too bad they don't show a picture of his paintings".

It's nice that whoever or whatever says this compliments his painting. But real deal? Does this mean someone has painted what he painted before? If so, who? Vincent cannot help but wanting to meet whoever this person is and told them that he wanted to give them credit for the original (poor guy doesn't even know the person you're talking about is the real life counter part of himself).

×××

Theo often hears soothing whispers in his dreams. Though he sometimes had a nightmare about how his brother died in his arms, these days they are followed by someone (or something) comforting him. Telling him that he's already good enough of a brother. And Vincent will still and always love him. But of course he prefer not to tell anyone about this, including Vincent. He didn't think it was necessary.

But, Theo often felt the same presence around Vincent. Whenever he accompanied him to buy art supplies or helping him with the next exhibition, he felt someone or something watching both of them with benevolence. Like a guardian angel, perhaps. Pair of eyes looking at them with fondness whenever they are together in any occasion. Perhaps there is indeed someone out there that care for them both.

×××

Let's face it, Arthur may or may not put up some theories on the wall of his room at first.

He began to note down these weird feeling of being watched. He will be intrigued. No matter where he looked at, this presence were nowhere near him. Or at least, not physically. But how come their presence lingers despite having no physical appearance? Did they use some sort of invisibility cloak? Or maybe this being is like a fairy, like the ones he believes in?

He may or may not use this as an inspiration for his next story

Though whenever he writes his next manuscript, the presence comes off even stronger. A pair of eyes ogling on him. Arthur felt like he was back in those days where he's working on his assignment as a student while being supervised by one of his professors. But it's different. There's a bit of pity in these invisible pair of eyes. But why did this being pity him for writing? What part of him is pitiable?

×××

Comte knew.

Nobody need to tell him about it. He already sensed this presence–your presence–that watches him and the residents. He have seen many unusual things, especially for someone who have lived for centuries.

Those nights he spent by looking at the sky, his golden lances glances specifically at the moon. Thinking that perhaps the celestial object in the sky could serve as your other pair of eyes aside from the woman who came through the door that was supposed to serve as your "vessel".

He longed for this presence. He longed for you. He felt all of your emotions whenever and wherever he is. Sometimes he felt happiness, bashfulness and sorrow. Like Arthur, he wondered what part of him that you pity. But he's content nonetheless. After all, he knows that there is someone out there who think of him.

×××

Isaac will be curious.

He never stops being curious, despite being awkward and socially shy. He's a scientist, a physician. Scientists ought to be curious of their surroundings.

While your (invisible) presence slightly scares him at first, he wondered where you are. If you're not here, then how are you watching him? From where are you watching him? Could it be that there's another world out there beyond his reach? Beyond the boundaries of this world he currently settles in? Was the theory of the existence of parallel universe gain its fame from now on?

He'll never know unless he finally got to meet you. Science has no boundaries, right?

×××

When Sebastian realized this for the first time, he is... unsure how to feel. Considering that he came from the year where advanced technology is still in research and work in progress overall. Could this be the so called simulated world? Like the ones in those fictional stories? But that's too advanced! No way a human can replicate this kind of experience on such a device! Even if they did, what kind of device is it?

Sometimes he heard your adoring whispers of how he is such a big history geek. It kind of caught him off guard. Getting praised by the residents is more than enough to give him a heart attack but when you did it? He might as well lay down on a sofa for a while to process this newfound sense of content.

×××

Like Comte, Vlad is also aware of this.

To think that there is a world out there, and you living on it. Vlad would definitely be content whenever you log in to the game. To the point he will frequently appear in your check-in screen. Saying things of how he is so happy to see you and your presence always made his day.

He also felt your eyes looking at him whenever he goes on to his usual routine. And you wouldn't believe how giddy it made him feel. He felt like a kid again.

Vlad will also look at the moon whenever he think of you. Once again, like Comte, he believed that the moon in the world he lives in serves as your other pair of eyes to see what's going on in this world. If you were out there watching him, the world you lived in must be a peaceful one. Since he sometimes heard your soft giggles in his dream.

This time, he will find a way to see you. Maybe he could borrow Comte's door for a while.

Or maybe he can... find a way to tinker with the game's mechanics to communicate with you.

×××

Napoleon doesn't really think much about the existence of other worlds. Until now.

He once said that he didn't really care of what people think of him. Or how the books described him. He's just a man right in front of you. In front of your screen, that is. Because that's what he told you. But when he came to realized that the world he's living in is a game, a dimension among the binaries simply with a purpose to satisfy those who seek the thrill and adventures of romance, he is shocked.

What do you mean that there are other people out there who played his route? The only presence he felt was yours. He didn't feel anyone else. Is this some sort of fate? Another destiny given to him?

Sometimes, Napoleon heard your whispers in the wind. One time, when he was teaching the children, he heard your faint whisper of praise. Telling him that he's a good teacher. It made him blanked out for a moment until a child have to tug his hand to get him back on track. Despite contemplating whether to tell Isaac about this or not, he did it anyways. And surprisingly, Isaac told him that sometimes he experiences the same thing.

The former Emperor may look calm on the outside. Meanwhile, he began to bury his face on the pillow as he recalled that day.

×××

When Dazai blanked out in the rain, he swore he heard an echo of you calling his name. His eyes blinked as more raindrops falling to his skin. Soaking every inch of his clothing wet. His eyes looked around, wondering where your voice came from before looking back to the cloudy sky once again.

When the sound of rain masked any other noises in his surroundings, your voice went through to him. Your voice sound so sad. He thought, Why do you sound so sad? Who are you feeling sad for?

Yet he yearned for your voice. He sometimes wished it will be raining the next day. Or the next month. All because he felt like your voice is much clearer when it's raining. Sometimes he sits so close to the window when it's raining, eyes looking into the distance, and face looking solemn.

×××

The thought of lovers limited by otherworldly boundaries is such an interesting concept for Shakespeare. It's like Romeo and Juliet but... much better? And with a bit of magic?? No one is dying except that they are now pining for eternity without resolution??

Better be prepared of extra letters you will receive. Sometimes it came from your in-game mailbox. You might want to read it, because it's mostly collection of poem dedicated for you, his so-called otherworldly muse. So many metaphors and shakespearean terms, you might need an expert to help you translate them. Unless you have an experience in arts of theatrics.

Shakespeare will not hesitate to write this down as his new play. About a man who fell in love with a woman who lives far away. And the only thing that could keep them connected was the whispers in the wind. As for how the tale will end, he might need to think about it later. He knew that many of his fans will be a little surprised in this sudden turn of his style. But, hey, he's eager to see you beyond the screen as you watch him directing his play.

×××

Giddy is an understatement. Charles is truly ecstatic. It doesn't matter if he's just a game character. There's someone out there who care for him and loves him? Well, mark him down as happy. He's ready to smother all of his love for you. All he needs to do left is to find a way to get the message across.

What should he send you? An extra diamond? extra drop rate for his card gacha? A bonus secret letter that only you can access? And where should he send his presents? The mailbox? Or just outright on the check-in screen? Charles have so many options yet so indecisive. Because he wants do all of it.

Charles would do anything for you. ANYTHING. He will go through the seven seas and seven land even if it meant that he could finally see you. He's ready to break the game as long as he can talk to you. He's quite lonely, you know?

×××

Faust chuckled in amusement. The scientist have become the observed guinea pig, huh? What an interesting turn of events.

He wondered if you enjoyed watching him. Now that you see him through the eyes of the female protagonist that became your eyes. He wondered if he looked deeper into her eyes, he will saw you. Right there, beyond the screen. Perhaps giggling or just smiling. Or just having neutral expression.

×××

Overall, once they have realized that they are just game characters and they can "see" you, expect for sudden extra diamonds sitting in your mailbox or their greeting become much much livelier than usual.

Natiii hiii

If your requests are open, is it alright if I request a part 2 of the platonic sibling headcanons for your favourite Ikevamp boys? Where they find out that reader, their precious beloved little sibling, is actually in love with/dating Dazai. I think it would be hilarious xD

Take your time, and remember to put your own health first! ❤

Hi hoooo, Silveeeer! (if you don’t get it, you don’t get it; and it means I’m really old)

Platonic relationships are so cute! Half of them would die if the reader dated anyone, to be honest, HAISUEHSAUIEHSAUIEA. But oooohhh, it was fun to imagine my dearest Isaac! 🤍

I'm sorry it took so long and I hope you liked it! 🤍

gn!reader with a sibling-like relationship with them starts to date Dazai | Isaac, Mozart, Jean, Arthur, Theo and Vincent, and Napoleon

Tags: minor spoilers for Dazai’s route; platonic relationships; sibling-like bond; teeny-tiny suggestive parts for Mozart, Jean, and Theo and Vincent (but still sfw, don’t worry!)

Notes: kind of a part 2 of this post, where gn!reader has a sibling-like relationship with them. 

Isaac

“I’m dating Dazai.” — Do you hate him? He feels like you do now.

He was never overprotective or one to pry into your business, but he felt like he should tell you something about it. You are his dearest younger sibling, after all.

He won’t try to separate you not exactly. He just wants to make sure you’re okay — stop glaring at him!

He will ask for Napoleon’s help to have a talk with Dazai. Napoleon is there just giving moral support because he has nothing against the writer. Isaac is in such distress after this talk, he probably got some gray hair. Dazai teased him, and Napoleon didn’t help.

He will tell you about this and every other time Dazai teased him or pulled some kind of prank on him. Might he remind you it was Dazai who gave him wine and said it was juice at the last banquet?

He can finally have a proper talk with Dazai — without being embarrassed or teased — a few weeks later. He can see now that Dazai really cares for you, and his teasing has lessened (but didn’t stop; it never stops).

Just remember your brother is a contrarian, okay? He’ll complain and grimace when he sees you two kissing, but he’ll help you out if Dazai ever tries to avoid you again. He really hopes you two stay together forever; he wants to see you happy.

Now stop bringing him apples every day with the excuse that you’re taking care of your family, Dazai!

No, Dazai, he doesn’t need someone too! Stop trying to set him up with random people!

Mozart

“Dazai asked me out and I said yes.” — “Pfff, no, you didn’t.”

And it’s not because it’s Dazai. It’s because you’re dating. That’s it.

Overprotective brother activated successfully. Every breath you take, every step you take, he’ll be watching you.

Seriously, he’s watching you two like a hawk. You thought Theo had brother issues? Pff! He won’t leave you alone. Or he’ll try to not leave you alone, but Dazai is too cunning and he always finds a way to evade Mozart and take you with him. Your brother might be fuming by now.

He doesn’t even try to talk with Dazai; he just knows he’s not worthy of you. No one is.

You end up having ‘the talk’ with Mozart. Does he remember when he was having a composer’s block, and Dazai helped? That’s how you start your list of “why Dazai is the safest vampire you could date”. You end the list playfully asking if he’d prefer if you dated any of the other writers, like Arthur, and you swear his eyes twitch with only the thought of it.

He tries to keep his pettiness in check for you. Keyword: try. Spoiler alert: he’s not good at it.

He never sees bite marks on your neck, so he thinks everything is okay and still… decent. He freaks out when Arthur points out that Dazai might be biting you on other parts of your body that don’t show when you’re fully dressed. You want to kill Arthur, while Dazai is just giving that closed-eyes smile of his.

Congrats, overprotective brother is back again at full force.

Jean

“I’m dating Dazai.” — “Alright.”

Chill brother ftw!

Sweet, clueless, and innocent brother doesn’t see anything wrong with your relationship.

He’ll just make sure this is what you want and that you’re really happy. He doesn’t need much assurance. He trusts you, and he knows you never lie to him.

He doesn’t have a problem with Dazai, so why should he be worried? 

However, he will miss spending more time with you in the beginning of your relationship. So Dazai makes sure to include him in your plans sometimes. He might even help you teach Jean how to write and read. (This is too wholesome to imagine)

Jean doesn’t even know what ‘the talk’ is. The roles are reversed: Dazai ends up having it with him, and you’re freaking out. It ends well though; it seems your new boyfriend didn’t say anything weird. This time.

His only problem might be if he sees you two leaving the same room in the morning. He won’t think much of it until Arthur makes some comment about it. And now Jean thinks you two need to get married. Congrats and thank you, Arthur.

Arthur

“Dazai asked me to date him.” — “Oh, hell no!” — “Oh, hell yes!”

Anyone but him! Seriously! If you don’t want any of the other residents, he can introduce you to someone! He has some acquaintances downtown... That’s when you hit his arm and glare at him. Okay, message received.

He won’t have ‘the talk’ with Dazai, he can’t stand the idea of having this conversation with Dazai. 

Again, are you sure you don’t want someone else? If you want a writer, even Shakespeare could be acceptable… You hit him again. Fine! Shakespeare wasn’t acceptable either anyway; he was just desperate.

Dazai doesn’t tease Arthur, so your brother will bring up the times Dazai teased you, like that time you two got stuck downtown because of the rain.

And you bring up the times Dazai helped you, or when he tried to cheer you up. You even list all the times he tried to help him, and Arthur was rude to him.

Touché.

Canonly, he wants to see you breaking Dazai’s masks. So he might accept your relationship just so he can see it and finally be able to read him. Spoiler alert: he still can’t read Dazai, and it drives the sore loser him crazy sometimes.

But you can, so he has to shut his mouth and support you. He’ll be happy for you, eventually.

Theo and Vincent

“I’m dating Dazai.” — “You’ve got the worst taste in men.” — “Oh, congrats! Can we all have lunch together sometime?”

Guess who said what.

Vincent is really happy for you! He already knows Dazai, so he doesn’t need to make sure he is a nice person for you. 

Theo is not happy for the exact same reason: he knows Dazai.

He protects you like he protects Vincent and sometimes even more because you are younger. Did you know Dazai goes to the casino? What else does he do downtown? Do you know? Do you seriously trust him?

You have to throw back at Theo that he goes to the pub with Arthur all the time. What does he do there? Why does he only come back in the morning? … Okay, he got it.

Theo promises that he’ll try to contain his brother issues if you’re too upset with him. He doesn’t promise he’ll succeed. Vincent is gladly there to scold him every time.

Vincent will ask if two can pose together for a new painting, while Theo will glare and curse a lot. It’s a lovely painting that you hang in your bedroom.

They’ll both be mad if you shed a single tear because of the writer. Dazai better run, and he better run fast because an angry Vincent is even worse than an angry Theo.

“Sleeping with Dazai is one step removed from sleeping with Arthur.” (he actually says it in Dazai’s route) WAIT. You haven’t slept together yet, have you? HAVE YOU? Vincent had to drag him out of the dining room because Dazai gave that signature smile of his and said, “Oh my, I can’t remember.”

(Imagine Theo lashing out, and Vincent just goes, “Calm down, they just slept together! What’s wrong with sleeping?”)

Theo will try to find a way to have ‘the talk’ with Dazai without you and Vincent knowing. It’ll turn out surprisingly fine, and he starts to trust Dazai a little more. A little.

Arthur is talking about the bite marks not being visible when you’re fully dressed again, just so he can see his best friend losing his mind. Vincent doesn’t understand what’s the problem; he thinks it’s in your arms or some innocent place. God bless this angel.

Theo is back at glaring and cursing.

Napoleon

“Dazai asked me out.” — “Alright, have fun.”

Chill brother ftw! #2 

He knows Dazai and he has nothing against him.

He trusts you and your decisions, so he won’t pry or be an overprotective brother mode.

He taught you self-defense and he knows you’ll come to him if you need something anyway.

He will talk to Dazai, but it won’t be exactly ‘the talk’. He just wants to make sure he’s not just killing time with you, even though that’s not something he believes the writer would do… But he’s gotta make sure. It was nice, like friends chatting to catch up on their lives, y’know?

If Dazai runs away from you like he does on his route before you start dating, he will not be pleased. But he will try to help you out, if you ask.

If a single tear is seen in your eyes, you bet he throws the chill-brother-state-of-mind out of the highest window of the mansion along with Dazai.

Seriously, he won’t freak out about your relationship, and he won’t do anything unless you ask him to. He really just wants you to be happy.

He’ll try to read Dazai’s books. Gotta support family.

(Can we imagine him ruffling your hair and then ruffling Dazai’s hair? Okay, sorry…)

Masterlists

😂😂😂

He's so freaking competitive on whoever can spoil MC the most

Average day at the mansion, but make it (kinda) historically accurate

Arthur: holds that men and women are intellectual equals and discrimination based on sex is stupid while genuinely, wholeheartedly believing in gender essentialism

Me: conflicted sweating

Arthur: casually throws around the n-word while defending black rights

Me: conflicted sweating intensifies

Dazai: So what you're saying is that depression has a variety of causes but "moral failing" is not one of them

Me: Yes

Dazai: And it can be purely genetic, like heart problems. It's basically just an illness like any other

Me: Yes

Dazai: And millions of other people around the world are suffering from it just like me

Me: Yep, you're not alone :)

Dazai: proceeds to secretly resent me for eternity

Me: So I think-

Napoleon, turning to Comte: Monsieur, has society truly fallen so far into moral decay that we allow women, unwed and childless at that, to voice their asinine opinions while in the presence of respectable company?

Me and my anger issues zeroing in on his throat: Waterloo 2 Electric Boogaloo hERE I COME

Theo: Vincent, I just got a strongly worded wire and a bill from the bar downtown, what on earth did you do again???

Vincent: You don't have to pay-

Theo: Of course I will pay it but for the LOVE OF GOD-

Dazai at any given moment: why did I say that why did I say that why did I say that OH FUCK why did I do that why did I do that why did I-

Mozart: improvises a bagatelle around some fart joke or other

Me: hitting the griddy as the others look on, disgusted and horrified

Me and Leonardo being equally weird and adhd about anatomy:

The rest of the mansion: aggressively making the sign of the cross whenever we come near

Sebastian: long suffering mediator and professional historical context provider making sure we don't kill each other every hour

So I’ve seen a lot of headcanons and fics floating around the Cybird/Ikemen fandom spaces about pregnancy or having children, but I have yet to see any childfree content at all, as @sevenai pointed out in a post they made about ikevamp. As such, I’ve put together a list of childfree headcanons for all the ikevamp men for those of us who want such things.

Napoleon — After the tragedy of his only legitimate son’s premature death during his life, I think it’s perfectly plausible that he would not want to try to produce another child of his own. Besides, the children he teaches with Isaac do more than enough to fill the void and warm his heart. I imagine that, at some point, the topic of children would come up and, when his partner would nervously disclose that she doesn’t actually want to have any of their own, he would feel relief.

Leo — Being in a relationship with anyone at all (especially a human) is already more than enough heartbreak, I don’t think he could handle producing a child of his own that he would then have to watch die someday even though no parent should ever outlive their child.

Mozart — This man is obsessive about cleanliness and absolutely cannot tolerate noise. There’s no way in hell he’s ever having a kid.

Arthur — He had five children in his life and so I feel like, for him, he’s already done that and sufficiently fulfilled that desire, so now he doesn’t feel the need to do it over again in this second life. I think he’d be willing to give it a go if that’s what his partner wanted, but I also think he’d be just as content not to.

Vincent — I get that in ikevamp he’s a sweet boy, but he has a past full of tremendous mental health struggles, and I think he’d be afraid of passing that to any potential children. I also think he would be worried about his ability to care for a child.

Isaac — Dude’s already worried he’s going to snack on Comte’s ferret or something, like being in a relationship with a human is PLENTY for him to worry about. Also, he’s a good person who views himself as a dangerous monster, which means he definitely won’t be having kids any time soon. Plus, like Napoleon, he has their little gaggle that they teach and that is genuinely plenty for him. Yeah, I think he’d be perfectly happy to have his partner tell him that there is no desire for children on their part.

Theo — I think he’d be more apathetic about children, where he doesn’t really have a desire for them but he would be willing to have kids if that’s what his partner wanted. He already has his partner, his bother, and his career, and that is more than enough for him to be happy.

Jean — First off, Jean is 19. Secondly, he hates himself and what he is, like Carlisle from Twilight. Maybe he would’ve wanted kids in life, but there is no way in hell he’d want to create half vampire spawn.

Will — Given that he was always running away from his wife and kids in his life, I think it’s safe to assume he never wanted them, even before he died. I think, given the context of his real marriage with Anne, he would be grateful to discover that his partner doesn’t want to have kids with him and it would be another indicator to him that this relationship is actually a good match.

Comte — I think he has no desire of his own for children and I also think he is hella devoted to whoever he chooses to be in a relationship with and will do anything to make them happy, so even if he did want kids he still would 100% fold to a childfree partner. There’s also that element of tragedy like with Leonardo that we’ll also see with Vlad.

Dazai — He’s either actively suicidal or very recently got better and definitely does not feel like he has the capacity to care for a child. Also, someone who hates themselves so much they’d choose to become a vampire solely so they could live long enough to kill their infant self is definitely not going to want to reproduce. Like Isaac, he sees himself as dangerous and I don’t think he would trust himself with something like having kids and I think that being in a relationship is already massively stressful for him.

Sebastian — He has a terminal illness, so there could be concern about passing whatever it is to any future children. He also probably would just not want to have to subject children to dealing with his inevitable, premature death. Even without all that, like if he can get magically cured by Faust or something, I don’t really see him actively wanting to have children, like I think he’d be more of a “travel the world with your partner in a delightfully comfortable DINK arrangement” kind of guy.

Vlad  — Yeah I think he’d 100% just be a “whatever you want” guy who values his partner above all else, including potential people who don’t exist yet.

Faust  — He’s kinda weird with kids tbh in a way that reminds me of myself — uncomfortable but kind of nice and gives in easily to whatever they want — which makes me think he doesn’t really like them and doesn’t really want them. I could see him kind of wanting to reproduce with a human as an experiment, but I really don’t see him genuinely desiring to have children.

Charles  — I get the vibe that he’ll be a very possessive yandere once he’s in a relationship and won’t want to share his partner with anyone at all, including potential children of their own. He actually gives me the impression that even if his partner came to him and shared that they genuinely wanted to have children with him, he might insist they not because of this trait of his.

Average day at the mansion, but make it (kinda) historically accurate vol.2

Me walking in on the first day in shorts and a t-shirt:

The residents clutching their collective pearls, scrambling to throw blankets and coats at me: Mademoiselle??? Mademoiselle why are you naked??? Comte why did you not beclothe her??? What in God's name is wrong with you???

Dazai lighting a cigarette while we're talking:

Arthur materializing out of thin air: How DARE YOU sir??!! Can't you see there's a LADY right there???? And you call yourself a man??!

Dazai: What-

Arthur putting on boxing gloves, ready to fight him:

Dazai: WHAT-

Sebastian doing a last round through the mansion before turning in for the night, frozen on the stairs:

Leonardo and I dragging a dirty, half-rotten corpse through the foyer: ...This is exactly what it looks like but it doesn't have to be a big deal

Isaac being forcibly removed from his lab for the fifth time that month: Listen to reason! This could mark the beginning of the next scientific revolution!

Sebastian and Theo restraining him: And what good is that if you don't have functioning eyes to see it???

Comte watching shit go down, cool as a cucumber: No no, let him go, I wish to see what will come of his experiments

Sebastian: Monsieur pLEASE-

Vincent: Those wretched voices kept me up all night, I didn't catch a wink of sleep

Jeanne dropping her gardening tools, slowly turning towards him in alarm: Is France in danger again?

Vincent: ...What

Napoleon nearly falling out a first floor window: France is in danger????

Vincent: What- no??? They were telling me that I'm a good-for-nothing drunkard??? France is fine???

Me: So you're a lying liar who lies for your own entertainment, and for others' so they'll pass you off as an obvious fraud and won't start digging in earnest

Comte: Precisely

Me: You're also an immense weirdo on top of that

Comte: So I've been told

Me: ...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Monsieur

Sebastian: bends over backwards every day to keep Arthur and Jeanne from interacting because the first (and last) time he mentioned "the Anglo-Saxon race ruling the world" in her presence she nearly killed him, and is clearly not done trying

Ikemen Vampire

Leonardo da Vinci

Nothing here yet!

Napoleon Bonaparte

Nothing here yet!

Vincent van Gogh

Nothing here yet!

Theodorus van Gogh

Nothing here yet!

Osamu Dazai

Nothing here yet!

Arthur Conan Doyle

Nothing here yet!

All Characters

Nothing here yet!

Fandom/Character List

Undertale

Undertale Sans (Blue)

Undertale Papyrus (Cinnamon)

Underswap Sans (Star)

Underswap Papyrus (Stretch)

Underfell Sans (Red)

Underfell Papyrus (Velvet)

Fellswap Sans (Mal)

Fellswap Papyrus (Russ)

Horrortale Sans (Oak)

Horrortale Papyrus (Willow)

Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach

Glamrock Freddy Fazbear

Montgomery Gator

Roxanne Wolf

Glamrock Chica

Sundrop & Moondrop

Creepypasta

Slenderman

Splendorman

Masky (Timothy Wright)

Hoodie (Brian Thomas)

Ticcy Toby (Tobias Rogers)

Jeff the Killer (Jeffery Woods)

Jane Everlasting (Jane Richardson)

Nina the Killer (Nina Hopkins)

Ben Drowned (Benjamin Lawman)

Eyeless Jack (Jackson Sokolov)

Bloody Painter (Helen Otis)

Dr. Smiley (Alexander Hart)

Jackrabbit (Jacklyn Tooley) (OC)

Smile Sog (no romantic)

Grinny Cat (no romantic)

The Rake (no romantic)

Seedeater (no romantic)

Sirenhead (no relationships)

Obey Me! Shall We Date?

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphagor

Diavolo

Barbatos

Mephistopheles

Solomon

Simeon

Luke (no romantic)

Ikemen Vampire

Leonardo da Vinci

Napoleon Bonaparte

Vincent van Gogh

Theodorus van Gogh

Osamu Dazai

Arthur Conan Doyle

Hiveswap Friendsim

Cirava

Elwurd

Skylla

Marvus

Chahut

Folykl & Kuprum

Galekh

Tagora

Tyzias

Mallek

Lirkos (OC)

Cinrex (OC)

Trifea (OC)

Enreri (OC)

Zorxie (OC)

Marvel

Deadpool (Wade Wilson)

Wolverine (Logan Howlett)

Gambit (Remy LeBeau)

Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)

The Arcana

Asra

Nadia

Julian

Portia

Muriel

Lucio

Valdemar

Sonic

Sonic the Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog

Knuckles the Echidna

Stardew Valley

Sebastian

Harvey

Abigail

Haley

Shark Bait (Dorian)

Rhin

GW

Tiggy

Miscellaneous

AM (I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream)

Adisorn Moore (Online Obsession)

Jericho Ichabod (The Kid at the Back)

Ronin Beaufort (Killer Chat)

OCs

Morgan / River Grey (Jekyll and Hyde style dude)

Roman (German Shepherd boy)